How To FRAME CONTROL LIKE A PRO

Frame is the way you see the world and the amazing thing is that everyone has got a frame. 

Imagine looking around you right now through a window frame that you hold in your hands. As you move the frame around, your brain is interpreting the sound, visuals and sensations in ways that are consistent with your intelligence and values. This is what I call your point of view. 

Another person can look at the same thing through his own frame, and what he hears and sees may differ-by a little or a lot. The common label given to this is perspective.

BRAIN ON FIRE:

Brain at work , doing what it does best - detecting frames, protecting us from threats, and using dominance and aggression to deflect attacking ideas and information.

Frames are rooted in our survival instincts-and they seek to sustain dominance.

NATURE OF FRAMES:

When frames come together, the first thing they do is collide. The two frames will  meet and the stronger frame will dominate. The moment your frame makes contact with the frame of the other person, they clash and collide for dominance. If your frame wins, you will enjoy frame control, where your ideas are accepted and followed by other people. But if your frame loses, you will be at other person's mercy.

When you are talking to anyone and fail to control the social frame, you probably have already lost. All you can do then is fight for survival by talking fast, push-pull, complementing and lot of other equally ineffective and annoying tactics that signal to the girl that you are needy and desperate - and defeated.

Frame control is won or lost even before you start talking to her.

ARE YOU BEING FRAME CONTROLLED?

When you are responding ineffectively to things the other person is saying and doing, that person owns the frame and you're being frame controlled. 

If you have to explain your authority, position, power, hustle, leverage, game, and advantages then you do not hold the stronger frame.Rational appeals to higher order, logical thinking never wins frame collisions or gain frame control. 

Notice, a policeman doesn't have to pitch you about why he is going to issue a citation for you. He does not need to rationalize with you. He doesn't need to explain you his power, he doesn't need to test a hand on his gun, and he doesn't need to describe to you what will happen if you resist. he doesn't need to explain how critical it is to stay calm and obedient. He doesn't suggest that you have fear and anxiety. Your brain's natural defense mechanism has these reactions to a policeman's frame. You are reacting and your brain's fear center has taken over your body. Your actions are automatic, primal and beyond your grasp.

Same way, every social interaction is a collision of frames, and the stronger frame always wins. Frame collisions are primal. They freeze out the neocortex and brings out the fear center of brain to make decisions and determine actions.

So, a successful interaction depends on your ability to hold your frame. The stronger your frame, the easier it will be for you to break and absorb weak frames.

COMPETITIVE vs COLLABORATIVE FRAME:

As we now know that if your reality(values, principles, integrity, experience and awareness) is strong then it will be easier for you to hold your frame.

But while frame controlling, it's never a you vs her battle. It has to be you and her. You have to create togetherness. The 'Us' Frame. 

If you feel like she is dominating the interaction that means you are operating from fear center. You are viewing her and the situation you are in as a threat. You feel like escaping as some fucked up shit may happen. 

This my friend is what I call a competitive frame.

As soon as you realize that you are in a competitive frame with her; assume she is already attracted towards you and then behave accordingly.

Let's view two cases to understand realities, principles and frames that a women is experiencing while talking to two different men:-

CASE 1

She: I don’t like your t-shirt, it’s so ugly. (Testing his frame)

He: No it’s not ugly. My mom gave it to me and it’s very special to me. (Justifying)

She: Cool. (Lost interest/Frame won)

He: Your dress is also not that good. (Trying to win his frame back)

She: Thanks for observing. (Frame won again)

He: Why do you have such an ego? (Reacting to her and seeking value rather than offering good emotions)

She: Why are you so defensive? (Being genuine and telling him about his behavior)

He: No, I am not. (Defensive behavior)

She: Well. Just now you turned defensive. Anyways, nice to meet you! (Rejected)

CASE 2

She: I don’t like your t-shirt, it’s so ugly (Testing his frame)

He: You are observing me a lot maybe. (Being responsive instead of reactive)

She: What do you mean? (Showing interest)

He: Why do you hate me so much? (Leading the frame)

She: I don’t. (She answered him so he is controlling the interaction now)

He: Cool, I am taking you out right now. (Being dominant, decisive and leading)

She: Where? (Amazed)

He: Adventure.  (Decisive and unpredictable. Unpredictability makes women wonder and they like it)

In case 1, the man is not a man but a reactive kid in disguise. This man is reacting to whatever she is saying. She doesn’t even have to do anything extra to weed out a man who is not a lover. Just some statements are enough to understand if a guy is a lover or provider.

In case 2, the man is a leader and he is the one who is controlling the flow of interaction. Men always control the flow. It’s the duty of a man to set the rhythm and being at the cause of an interaction. He leads the woman by taking her somewhere and when she asks about where they are going he doesn’t tell the whole plan and lets the uncertainty do its thing. 

QUICK REVIEW:

1) Everyone uses frames whether they realize it or not.

2) Every social interaction brings different frames together.

3) Frames do not coexist at same time and place for long. They run into each other, clash and the stronger frame enjoys frame control.

4) Only one frame survives while the other frames get absorbed by the stronger frame.

5) The winning frame leads the social interaction in any direction it appeals.

Contact to enroll for upcoming bootcamps: 

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Mail- yadhuvirpua@gmail.com

5 Steps To Get Her From Club To Bed

You are standing outside the club and you can listen to the loud music stimulating the shit out of everyone inside.

Wherever you see you can easily spot handsome men and beautiful women. Women are looking really appealing. Your heart is coming out of your chest because this loud music is making you feel anxious.

You just stepped inside the club and women started looking at you. Near the corner table you can see a couple making out. Women are dancing like crazy on the dance floor.

Looking at these women, you want to have sex now. But how?

Understanding the club environment:

Clubs are loud and chaotic. People come to clubs to have some fun, chill a bit out of their daily fucked up and robotic lives. 

Understanding the nature of environment is really crucial. People are not coming to clubs to engage in long ass conversations. They want to party, drink and dance. People pay for tables to get privacy.

So if you think that you can talk a girl to your bed then I have a bad news for you. Since it's a loud environment, you cannot engage women in long conversations. Attention span of women is really less inside the clubs. 

Forget that you can use some lines and get inside her pants. Women are not idiots and club is not tinder. 

What to do then? How to get a woman from a club to your bed?

5 Steps of Victory:

Women can easily weed out these guys:

(a) The one who fakes it till he makes it. 

(b) The one who is showing off.

(c) The one who is self-conscious and becomes a victim of the environment.

 If you want to get her, you need to follow these steps-

1) Accept everything the way it is:-

Become a sponge as soon as you enter the club. Absorb the environment. Become the environment.

Most guys resist the club environment and it is because few hours ago they were in some different environment for example: book store or restaurant or shopping store etc. But now they are inside the club and environment is changed.

So the first thing to remember is that one should not resist the change. Stay with the change instead.

Accept that it's fucking loud. Accept that you are afraid but don't know why. Accept that you are getting self-conscious. Get your short breaths back in sync again. Start taking deep breaths and let go of self-image.

Stop thinking that everyone is just looking at you. People are busy getting laid there. Get off the spectator mode because it's time for some action.

2) Start small:-

Go and talk to the guy standing alone.

You: How's the night going?

Him: It's fine.

You:  Awesome. See you later.

(Smile and leave)

Go and talk to the couple who is giggling there.

You: Sorry to interrupt you but you guys look so awesome together.
Guy: Thanks a lot bro.
You: You guys from around here.
Her: Yeah our office is nearby only.
You: Awesome. Have a lovely night guys.

(Smile and leave)

Go and talk to that woman who just came near the bar to get some water.

You: How tall are you?
Her: 5.10
You: That's crazy. Hi! What's your name?
Her: .....
You: ....

(Stay for sometime and then leave)

The main point is that you won't be in a highly social mood as soon as you enter the club. You will have to put yourself in social mood by allowing yourself to get in the situations where you have to engage with people.

3) Encourage yourself to come out of head:-

Either you are in the club or you are in the head. You cannot coexist inside and outside.

Most guys look for motivation to take action. They want someone to push them to open that first set.

Your action becomes your motivation.

Motivation doesn't create action. Action creates motivation. You will have to go and say hi to her. Until you take action, nothing is going to happen.

Some guys feel that they don't know what to talk to women. Most guys feel like they are out of words.

You can talk about whatever is going on in your head. You can even talk about your fear that you are feeling at the moment. When it comes to women, you can literally talk about anything because women actually don't listen to what you are saying, they are looking at how you are opening up when you start talking about things that you are actually thinking at that moment.

4) Capitalize and don't judge yourself:-

Don't just go and ask her to introduce herself and then come back. Start increasing the time you are spending in the sets as the night goes on. 

Introduce one woman to another woman, make connections, dance with them, take them out to some quieter place, go to the smoking zone. Don't just stop. You have just hit the flow.

Not every woman can like you so stop kicking your own ass whenever a woman rejects you. It's okay to get rejected.Rejection is the part of process. No one is looking at you getting rejected. Keep talking to people without carrying a self-judgement within you.

5) Lead and pull:-

When it comes to sex, women don't know how to lead.

Be a man, be a leader. If your interaction is really going amazing with a girl then lead her out of the club when the party ends. Go to any nearby restaurant to get food. 

She will check you for the last time if you are faking your personality or not. The best way to deal with last moment tests are by being brutally bold and honest.

She cannot catch you faking when you're honest.

For example: 

You: There is a really good Mexican restaurant. Let's go.

Her: But why should I come with you.

You: Because I would love to know you more. Let's go now. [LEAD]

Her: mmm..okay.

If its too late and no restaurants are open or if she cannot stop sexualizing with you then you can directly take her to your home.

It wont be easy to implement these steps all of the sudden. Keep going out everyday and follow these steps. You will eventually get there.

If you want to see me approaching women and showing all of this live then you can see my infields and subscribe to my YouTube channel The Yadhuvir. You can even follow me on Instagram (yadhuvir_singh) to look into my daily life and hustle. Until next time.