I get this question a lot that people feel offended whenever someone says negative stuff about them. They don't know what to do, how to react so, they go on performing the default behaviour programmed into them and that is, defending themselves.
Suppose you are coming back to home from your work and a beggar approaches you and asks for money. You tell him that you don't have the change and in return, he abuses you.
How those words from that beggar are going to affect you?
He don't know you so his abusive words won't even matter. Why would those words even affect you?
If you are at work and someone is showing you down, teasing and taunting you. Now, you might think that this scenario is a bit different but it's not. Everyone is hungry for attention and sometimes they need it at any cost. Even if they have to show people down, they will do that. Beggars of attention are everywhere.
If someone says bad to you then that's their problem and not yours. They did their work by saying bad but now your work is, if you want to take it on heart or not. Most people start defending themselves and it puts them on the survival mode so that they can just survive this situation at any cost.
This all is because of the ego. People attach their ego with others, and when others say bad stuff about those people, they go through a great ego clash.
The three best ways to tackle such situations are:
1) Embrace that they are trying to make fun of you, exaggerate the situation and laugh on it.
2) Identify this feeling inside you and see how much discomfort it is causing. See how much pressure it is exerting on you. Accept the feeling and surrender to it. Accepting something does not mean liking it. Accepting something means that you are aware of that thing.
3) Don't reply and change the topic.
* ENDING NOTE:
Realize that the more you are going to defend yourself, the more you are going to fuel your's and others ego. So, be at peace.
Suppose you are coming back to home from your work and a beggar approaches you and asks for money. You tell him that you don't have the change and in return, he abuses you.
How those words from that beggar are going to affect you?
He don't know you so his abusive words won't even matter. Why would those words even affect you?
If you are at work and someone is showing you down, teasing and taunting you. Now, you might think that this scenario is a bit different but it's not. Everyone is hungry for attention and sometimes they need it at any cost. Even if they have to show people down, they will do that. Beggars of attention are everywhere.
If someone says bad to you then that's their problem and not yours. They did their work by saying bad but now your work is, if you want to take it on heart or not. Most people start defending themselves and it puts them on the survival mode so that they can just survive this situation at any cost.
This all is because of the ego. People attach their ego with others, and when others say bad stuff about those people, they go through a great ego clash.
The three best ways to tackle such situations are:
1) Embrace that they are trying to make fun of you, exaggerate the situation and laugh on it.
2) Identify this feeling inside you and see how much discomfort it is causing. See how much pressure it is exerting on you. Accept the feeling and surrender to it. Accepting something does not mean liking it. Accepting something means that you are aware of that thing.
3) Don't reply and change the topic.
* ENDING NOTE:
Realize that the more you are going to defend yourself, the more you are going to fuel your's and others ego. So, be at peace.
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